5. The most common regret I see
There is one regret I see more often than any other. “We never asked.”
By Eve Gibbons, Business Leader, (Cemetery Manager) Carr Villa Memorial Park
Over many years in deathcare, first as a Funeral Director and now as Cemetery Manager, I have witnessed countless families honour their loved ones with deep care and intention.
But there is one regret I see more often than any other. “We never asked.”
Not about the music. Not about burial or cremation. Not about where they wanted their ashes placed.
Families will often say, “We thought we had more time,” or “We just never had the conversation.” And in the days following a loss, that absence of clarity can feel heavy.
It is rarely about disagreement. It is about uncertainty. People want to do the right thing. They want the farewell to reflect the person they loved. But without guidance, they are left making decisions during one of the most emotional weeks of their lives.
The regret is not about the service itself. It is about wishing they had asked one simple question while there was still opportunity to do so.
Planning ahead does not take away from living. In fact, I believe it does the opposite. It allows families to focus on remembering and honouring, rather than deciding under pressure.
If there is one gentle encouragement I can offer, it is this: ask the question now. Not because something is imminent.
But because having the conversation is far easier than carrying the regret.
This is week five of Carr Villa's ten-part blog series by Eve Gibbons, Business Leader at Carr Villa Memorial Park. Each weekly blog will be published on the News and Information page under the Industry News and Resources section